Tenley’s Birth Story
Our Tenley girl decided to make her debut in the exact opposite fashion than her brothers did! With each of the 4 boys my water broke (or had to be broken) about 10 minutes before we had a baby in our arms. Little Miss decided she wanted to shock us all and have my water break 1st! No doubt, she was making it known ahead of time, she was our princess.
In the weeks leading up to her actual arrival I had several contractions. Prodromal labor… real labor that DOES progress you, but starts and stops. It’s emotional! Nothing consistent or hard enough to make me think, “this is it!” Sunday Night into Monday I had lots of contractions that made me warn my midwife and the rest of my birthing team, we are CLOSE! Monday I had pretty consistent contractions for about 3 hours, but again, nothing that made me say, “Call the Midwife!” Monday night and Tuesday nothing was happening. My Due date was Tuesday Nov. 10th so when that due date comes...you're just READY! I was walking and doing lots of curb walking trying to rock that baby girl down into place. By Tuesday night I was nesting and doing laundry. I took a trip up the stairs to switch around the laundry and then came back down the stairs. When I got to the bottom step I felt a warm trickle down my leg and burst out laughing, “I THINK MY WATER JUST BROKE!” (If you or anyone you know has ever had their water break near you it makes you laugh because it's a slower trickle than you ever witness in the movies so it's hard to determine, “Was that my water breaking? Or did I just pee my pants?”) When you’re 9 months pregnant, it's hard to distinguish because laughing, sneezing, and coughing all cause the same problem. Haha! (just being real here friends...IYKYK) Aaron freaked out and called the midwife to let her know, because like I said earlier, any previous time my water had broken we had a baby in 10 minutes. I was in the bathroom at this point and laughing so hard that contractions were coming very consistently and within 3 minutes of each other. If you’re ever in labor and stuck (not progressing)....laugh! Find something to take your mind off things and just LAUGH. Those endorphins being released bring on the contractions. It’s easy to laugh at yourself when you’re wearing adults diapers! The ONLY way to labor with your water broke. ;-)
Contractions were consistent and we confirmed it was definitely my water that broke, so I called the whole birth team, photographer and all. For reference, the 3 previous births I had a baby within 2 hours of showing up at the hospital and it felt very similar at this point. Thankfully my little 3 boys were all down for bed. It was around 7:40pm. My oldest son had asked from the beginning if he could be there through the whole birth. I had read/watched so many other birth stories and took the advice of a mom that said, “we have an open door policy at our home births. The kids that want to be a part of it can, but if they ever get uncomfortable the door is open for them to walk out.” Since I was down in the water you don’t see anything that would freak you out as a little boy. As quickly as everything went from normal to labor, Hudson got a little nervous. Some of these pictures with him are my absolute faves.
I walked around my house and labored slowly. With each contraction more fluid came which stirred so much excitement knowing she was on her way. By 10pm my whole birth team was there including several close friends, family members and photographer were all. It was turning in to everything I had envisioned! I immediately felt this pressure, “You HAVE to have this baby now! ALL these people are here waiting on you!” Not ONE person in the room said anything to make me feel this way, it’s simply my enneagram 3 personality that wants to perform under pressure. My Midwife, Sabrina Elliot, immediately noticed. She is an amazingly gifted midwife and is crazy in tune with moms during their birth! The 1st birth experience we had together when she was a doula she walked in to my house, watched me through one contraction and knew it was time to go to the hospital. After 2 natural hospital births together, I was beyond THRILLED that she is now a certified midwife Everyone told stories about how they knew me. Sabrina shared about how she got into midwifery care. Aaron read scripture out loud. Looking back this was the sweetest, sacred time. Oils were diffusing, Ningxia was flowing, praise worship was playing. The atmosphere was perfect.
At one point, you could clearly see baby girls' heads pressing up against my back. Everyone was thrilled to know she was faced toward the back like we wanted her to be. And it became fascinating to everyone how you could so clearly make out her head and face in my back. Knowing her sweet little face was there kept me distracted from the amount of labor in my lower back. ;-)
The stories and laughter kept things progressing slowly but as the clock turned midnight and everyone was clearly getting tired Sabrina knew the BEST thing for me and the baby was for me to get some rest. Contractions were not regular and me putting pressure on myself was not helping anything. I had read all the books and knew this going in to birth so I knew I needed a reset. Sleep would help.
Around 12:30 I curled up in bed and everyone else found couches and spare bedrooms to crash in. I had a few contractions throughout the night that made me know I was progressing, but just VERY slowly. About 4 am I came out knowing some of my besties had to get off to work and life! I bawled like a baby when some told me they weren't going anywhere. I seriously can’t believe the GIFT God has given me with an incredible tribe of friends to surround me! Some never left my side for a full 24 hours!
By 10am. my midwife warned me, if I wasn’t having consistent contractions by 6pm we would likely need to transition to the hospital. I wanted to puke! Right smack in the middle of Covid, that was the LAST thing I wanted to do! (She didn't think that was likely but wanted to warn me ahead of time so 6pm didn’t roll around and she had to drop that bomb of news on me!) She mentioned a few natural labor inducing options but also told my sister and Britni that I needed to have fun, laugh and get my mind off everything. So the 3 of us headed out on a walk. Time in nature helps everything! We came back to Aaron having set up “Settlers of Catan”... my current fave game! :-) Each round of Catan I would go run up and down the stairs twice after my turn! I would have a few contractions which was quite comical at this point.
I’m crazy competitive and the game progressed and there was a 3 way tie, each of us with 8 points! (It’s a race to 10…I was going to WIN!) My mind was totally focused on WINNING this game and not on the labor and THAT’s when it progressed VERY quickly. I remember looking at the clock and it was a little after noon. I got up because I felt a contraction coming on that I could NOT sit through. I stood up and SPLASH! A 2nd bag of waters that was keeping my baby girl safe and sound but also up higher broke! I felt her drop down and baby girl was ready to descend! Call everyone back I yelled! My photographer, midwife and family all headed back our way!
Before I knew it contractions were 2-3 minutes apart and occasionally 1 on top of the other. I was ready but I was also nervous it was going to STOP again at this point. You can see in the video below, I was scared to get in the birth tub. I was afraid if the water made things too comfortable that I would stop contracting again. My sweet birth team surrounded me and prayed against all that fear. My midwife also knew when that flood of anxiety hits that transition is here. Which is comforting and also terrifying! The hardest part! I knew fear would slow the birth and make it harder so I wanted to chose faith over fear and NEEDED those prayers in that moment! I remember curling up in Aaron’s lap. He is SUCH a safe place for me! Between Aaron and Jesus I FELT the reality that perfect love casts out all fear. I was ready!
About 1:20 I got in the birth tub. I’ve witnessed births where the water is the key for total relaxation for the momma, but I could not get comfortable. Honestly, how do you get comfortable in transition!?! Looking back I can’t believe I was only in the tub for 38 minutes before I had a baby in my arms. I switched and moved positions. I was desperate for some relief. I had read in Ina May's Guide to Childbirth that some women found relief from kissing their spouse through contractions. I had even read it out loud to Aaron beforehand exclaiming “That’s insane! That’s the LAST thing I would want to do in that moment!” Never say never right? One contraction he was praying me through, I was so desperate I grabbed his head and made out with him like it was our first kiss ever! And man oh man, it WORKED!!!! I seriously told my whole birth team (between contractions) I had read it in the book and never dreamed it would work but it DID! Apparently that release of oxytocin helped offset the pain of the contraction and the next 3 I just kissed him through and it was amazing!
I’ll spare you the more graphic pictures of the make out session. ;-)
The next contraction my midwife asked, “Are you pushing because you feel the urge to push or because it feels good to push?” I responded, “I think both!” 1 more contraction and she reached down and said I can feel her entire head. You are ready! That’s ALL I needed to know! I was READY to meet my girl! 1 of the hardest pushes of my life and she was here. Wednesday Nov. 11th at 1:58pm! I was shocked that I pushed her all the way out in one push! I sat back in the tub and had my baby girl on my chest in seconds! Best! FEELING! EVER!
One thing that was VERY different with her (maybe this was partially because of the calm setting of a home birth), but Tenley was SO calm she barely cried. AT ALL. They even rubbed on her back and took her for a second to get her to cry. You can see in a few of the pictures, I kept checking on her because she was simply SO calm it had me worried. I was used to my babies screaming at the top of their lungs when they came out and had never had a water birth before so I thought maybe something was wrong. Between my experienced midwife and the experienced NICU nurse present they put my mind at ease!
8lbs. 10 1/2 oz, 21 1/2 inches long, perfect in every way.
The herbal bath was by far my favorite part of the whole experience: soaking in a relaxing bath, the hard was over, and I got to sit and take in this beautiful baby girl laying in my lap. Very healing to both her and I. I also kept thinking, “Birth is amazing! Women are amazing! I can’t believe my body just did that and here we are.”
One thing you will LOVE in the video is the kid’s faces when she got here. Talk about a little boy that adores his momma and is seeing first hand just how incredible women are. I knew this would possibly be their first and maybe ONLY experience of birth, first hand, before they had their own so I wanted to leave them knowing how magical and empowering this experience can be! Not the dramatic scene they may witness in a movie. My niece Madeline was right in the mix. Filling up the tub, asking questions, praying, and even helping with clean up afterwards! I am forever grateful knowing that experience left them all feeling empowered and even more amazed at the whole birth experience! I especially wanted me niece to know how incredible she is designed and what she is capable of!
Besides the herbal bath, the best part of home birth is being home right afterwards. Everyone is cleaning up around you and my tribe gave me 5 Star care! Anything I asked for showed up on my bedside table. They kept me nourished with Ningxia, supplements and my incredible sister had even prepared me Labor Soup ahead of time!
All eyes on the sweet girl’s newborn examine! Momma needed her AfterEase. After 5 babies I made sure to start downing it asap!
Baby girl, you were prayed for. Hoped for! Longed for! And here is your story! Happy BIRTHday Tenley Abigail! You are a precious gift to your 4 brothers, your dad and I. We love you sweet girl!
